Perth

It have been a while from the last time i went to Perth.
Emmm... almost a year ago.
I thought i will be ok. That's why i swappep for this flight.
I was over extimated myself.

Before i go, everything looks fine with me.
Feeling only started overwhelming when i reached the airport.
Familiar places, familiar foods, familiar time...
Memories...

I thought about him. About those time.
Can't believe after so long i still can't get rid of it...
Don't get me wrong, not because of affection, to me, it's just a memories.

Met up with Jaclyn for brunch.
It was great!
It's always good to meet up with friends in outport.
Especially from the same hometown.

Well, Jac did update me about him.
She told me about he is loosing his walk with God.
He is treating Christianity as a lifestyle.
Going church or Cell group is just being in the circle of friends.

Nothing surprise me.
I will never forget what he said to me after we broke off.
I asked him whether the new girlfriend is a christian.
Guess what he said?!
I thought he will say, he will try to bring her to church or something like that.
But...
He said, IS THIS MATTER?! IS THIS IMPORTANT?!

*sigh*
I was so heart broken when i heard that.
Because that makes me think that when we were together, he was just PRETEND to be a good christian.
I still can't believe someone will used God to impress a girl.

It was me being too naive or he was very DARING.
How can he used God?!

Well, i realize i was being very bitter.
When i heard about his update from Jaclyn.
I should be praying for him.
But, i can't.
I think he don't deserve it.
I was so bitter, until i think he don't deserve salvation also.

Wow!! That's so wrong!
Thank God that He reminded me that i was also a sinner before.
Do i deserve salvation!?
Salvation is come from the grace of God.
If he don't deserve, neither do i.

Thank you Jesus for stretching me once again.
I'm now 'WIDER' than before.

Lord, I just want to up hold him unto your hand.
By God's grace, he will one day found his path with You.
Amen!

Release and receive

It had been a while from the last time i wrote my blog.
Just came back from Penang. Been working really hard this month.
Almost flying everyday, but all to Malaysia only.
Quite cool actually, because i got all my allowances in Ringgit.
Not bad actually.

Anyway, something happen recently.
I'm quite cool about being single for quite some time already.
I'm actually beginning to enjoy it.
But, not tonight.

After we talked in MSN, actually gave me quite some thoughts.
Hoping to meet him, but in the same time afraid being emo.
Brought along alot of worries and hope to operate the flight to Penang.
All i got is TEARS and ANGER.

Gave me empty promises that you will LOVE TO MEET?!
Bullshit la...
Not even inform me that you are not coming.

To be honest, i'm totally cool about this.
I'm not disappointed the fact that we are not meeting.

I just very pissed off by his email.
How can he be so selfish?!
When he was emo, he can just come and blast all to me.
But, when he is feeling OK, he asked me not to be misunderstand on what he said.
The best part is, he think i'm CHANGED to a better person.
BUT...
He don't think i'm being the REAL me!
He was WONDER what is REAL in me?!

HELLO~~~
What is your problem?!

I couldn't help but being so bitter.
Instead of cursing over him, i chose to cried out to God.
Tears just can't help but falling...

Thank God for everything had happen.
I read this in Joel Osteen's blog.
'Release and Receive'.

It's a story about a woman released her burden to God.
She actually visualize those 'burden balloons' being release one by one to God.

I'm going to do the same.
I will release my burden to God.
Received a fresh portion of God's strength to face each day.

I just need to kept reminding myself that God's blessing has always in store for my future!!
People don't believe, nevermind.
I know God has done a wonderful things in my life.

Amen! Thank you, Jesus.

Why God create Wisdom teeth?!

Gosh! I'm in pain!
I just took out my right lower wisdom tooth.
The side effect is...
my face is SWALLOW like pig head.
Fever...
Constantly taking pain killer and antibiotic.
Can't really open my mouth.
I sounded funny with my slur speech.

Guess what?!
I still need to take out the left hand side one in 2 months time.
HELP~~~~

I went to Dr Lim in Penang Dental.
He is the most cheerful and talkative dentist i ever met.
He can continue talk and talk and talk.
Maybe this is his way to distract me from my nervous.
Every movement he do, he will explain to me.
Kind of cool actually.

I got four injection before the dentist pull out my teeth.
Can't you believe it?!
2 on my gum, 1 on my lips and 1 on my tougue.
I felt total numb after the injection.

Then...
The dentist technically 'drill' my teeth into pieces.
He said he will 'cut' them into 4 pieces like birthday cake.
The sound was just CRAZY!!
I guess i will bring my Ipod on my next treatment.
=P

After he 'cut' my wisdom tooth,
he need to pull out the whole root of my tooth.
Before he pull, he said, 'shall we sing happy birthday?!'
Before i ask, "HAR?!'
He pull it out!
Phewww~
Thank God!

Then he said he will become a tailor now.
To stitch my wound.
No pain no pain...

The PAIN only come after 5 hours!!
until now...
T_T

May God Bless Thailand

I just flew to Thailand few days ago.
At first i thought i'm going to stay in the airport hotel.

Ever since the incident in Thailand,
For safety reason, company had putted us in airport hotel.
But, to my surprise, we moved back to the town.

I was little upset.
When we stay in airport hotel, our meal allowance was double.
But this time, everything back to normal.
Including our allowances.
Which is very very little.
*sigh*

I went out to the town to have a look.







So sad, right?!
I was shock when i saw Central World.

I heard this from my purser for this flight.
He said, everybody complain about moving back to the old hotel because of the allowances.
BUT
I'm so glad that we had moved back to the old hotel.

I asked him, WHY??
He said, we are not happy because we didn't get more allowance.
But, have you ever think of the people who are working or running business in town area?!
They already lost lots of money and property because of the incident.
If we stop staying in the town,
no tourist spend money in the town.
What will happen to them?!

WAAAA!!
Suddenly, i felt i was being so selfish...
only cared about myself, not thinking for others.

I saw this interesting tree in one of the mall.





Wishes from people around the world.

I had wrote my wish for Thailand also.




MAY GOD BLESS THAILAND!

小姑还是走了。。。

今天一下机，就打给爸爸。
爸爸本来还想隐瞒，说小姑还在昏迷。
可是，我在电话里，已经听到念经打斋的声音。

我知道小姑还是走了 T_T

那种永远失去一个亲人的感受真的很难过。
很难想象不会再在小姑的面包店见到他。
新年不会再见收到他的红包。

我有怪自己。。。

如果我和小姑的感情好一点，
结果会不会不一样?!
如果我知道小姑有病，劝他去看医生，
结果会不会不一样？！
如果我有传福音给小姑，
结果会不会不一样？！

可是没有那么多‘如果’。

对不起，小姑，我没有回去送你。
我不想去你的丧礼。
我不想对你的回忆里，有这一幕。
只想停留在面包店里，阿嘛家里。

小姑，你见到阿嘛了吗？
你走了过后，你会去那里？
你安心的走吧！
但愿我们还会再见。
我会想念你的。

小姑，你要活下去

26 May 2010 Brisbane, Australia

真的很突然。从来都不知道小姑的身体有问题。或许，小姑自己也不知道。
收到爸的来电，说小姑入院了，已经昏迷不醒。
报告检验出，小姑的脑里长了一个瘤。
由于，那颗瘤的比例是脑的1/4大，导致很多的神经线被压着，导致脑死。

一直以来，我和爸爸的家人都没有比妈妈那边的来得亲。
可能是因为在我们小时候，家里的经济出现了状况，爸爸的家人给过我们脸色看.
所以，长大以后，也不想跟他们来往。

我一直以来都不喜欢厕所，
甚至，可以说是有一点恐惧。
那是因为在小时候，当我做错事时，
我会被反锁在一间伸手不见五指的厕所里。
记忆中，都有被阿嘛和姑姑反锁过。

我和小姑有一个共同点。
那就是，都很疼爱阿嘛。
以往，阿嘛一有需要，一定会打电话给我和小姑。
每一个星期六，我和小姑都会轮流带阿嘛去吃早餐和买日用品。

自从阿嘛走了，我和小姑的共同点也没了。
也很少来往了。只会在过时过节才见面。

现在我很怕电话响，或有短讯。很怕收到坏消息。
虽然，医生已经证实小姑脑死。
可是，我还没放弃。除了祷告，我真的不知道还可以为小姑做些什么。

人真的要到失去了才学会珍惜吗？！
我有后悔，自己没有和小姑建立好关系。
小姑的一对子女还在念小学，这个时候还需要母亲。小姑，你一定要醒过来。

牙套记 Part 2

Are you ready??
Because i about to show you the most ugly pictures of mine.
Please do not be afraid after you see all my pictures.
It's just A LITTLE BIT ugly...

Ta Dang~~




Did i made your day?! =P
LOL!

Let me tell you the process...
They 'open' my mouth with this round plastic thingy.
So that, it will be easier for them to put on the braces for me.

Next, brackets were placed on my teeth.
They used the UV light to make the brackets stick on my teeth.

Then...It's the most painful part.
In my case, i need not to take out any of my teeth.
BUT...
I need to do drilling!!!

That means, the dentist will drill my teeth to create space.
not THAT many teeth need to drill la..
ONLY 8!!

Hahahahaha!! Madness!!
8 tooth need to be drill!!
Wohoo!!
*hurt*



This picture is before the dentist put the wire through the brackets.
Usually the conventional type of braces need to put a rubber band around the brackets to hold the wire.
But, mine is Damon system, no rubber band.
The bracket itself is a clip
Just to clip on the wire.

That's the whole process of application.

I feel absolutely nothing after the application.
No pain, nothing.
Just many foreign object in my mouth.
Hmmm...that's the good sign.
BUT...
The PAIN only come after 2 hours..

WAAAA!!!
My tooth became so tight.
My gum became so sore.

Well, eventually i got used to it.
My next appointment will be after 60 days.
I wonder how is it...

10th day anniversary

ta dang~~
Today is my 10th day anniversary with my 'good friend', DAMON!
-___-!!!

Sweat leh?! hahahahaha!

Anyway, i can slowly eat now.
No more PORRIDGE!
No more SOYA DRINK!
Wohoo!!
Can eat SOLID food now. =)

Even though...
Took me longer to finish a meal...
A piece of salmon cut into 10 small pieces...
Can only bite slowly with my back teeth...
But...
Still, SOLID food weh!!!
=P

Actually, being not able to eat many types of the food is really troublesome.
Thank God for great and understanding friends around me.
They were being very caring.
They tried not to order things that i can't eat.
Waited for me to brush my teeth after meal.

Thanks, my friends.
Really appreciated.

牙套记

Guess what?! I finally fulfil my 'dream' which is putting on braces!!
People often ask me why do i need to wear braces, your teeth is OK what?!
My answer will be... Emmm, I just want to experience the process.

-___-!!!
i know, you must be sweating right now. Hehehehehe!!
But seriously, i been wanted to wear braces since secondary school.

I even went and Q-up for the government one, which only cost RM500.
Too bad, by the time i got it, i need to leave to Penang for University.
During that time, wearing braces in private sector is way too expensive to bear.

Since my company allow me to wear braces.
Very rare that airlines allow their crew to wear braces.
I feel thankful about it..
But in the same time, i heard feedback like...

No matter how well you groom yourself, once you wear braces, all GONE!!
i seriously think those who wear braces shouldn't be in the service line.

-___-!!! waaa!! So discriminate hor?!

Of cause i don't listen to their feedback and went straight for my braces also.
=P

The process is pretty GELI.
to be continue...

Judge the book by the cover

Haven been so down since ages.
Suppose to feel good after came back from Mumbai.
Finally get to rest for few days. Apparently NOT!
Don't know why after had lunch with Katherine, the moment i reach my room, i realise I'm all alone again.
Damn! I hate that feeling.

Michael and I talk about boy girls relationship over dinner today.
I told him that my low self esteem attacked me again.
I felt low about myself.
In my working environment, first impression is very important.
It's really too short time for people to know your 'inner beauty'.
Everyone will just judge the book by the cover.

I don't like people to judge me based on my look.
Like it or not, the world is like that.

Whenever i flip through magazine, i wish i look like one of those model.
What Michael said really hit me.
He said, why should you compare yourself with the girls out there where you are looking for the man in His presence!?

That's really true.

零食精 junk food killer

Ever Since young i'm a junk food killer.
Ice cream, chocolate, potato chips, popcorn....
All also my favorite!!!

I think i got this habit from watching TV.
Those HK drama always show them eating chips while watching tv.
That's why i always link
watching TV with CHIPS
watching MOVIE with POPCORN
It's a MUST!! =P

Browsing around the junk food section in supermarket always my favorite.
I enjoyed myself crossing over junk foods! Wohoo!

How i wish i can just eat all i want without watching my weight.
I have friends who only eat junk food to LIVE.
Seriously, i never see her eating NORMAL meal.
But, she is SO skinny. VERY~
How can she not gaining weight by eating all the junk?!
I know...it's unfair.. =P

Anyway, junk food still unhealthy.
Of cause knowing the theory is always different than practise it.

One day i might stop....or NOT... =P

Aircraft engine failure

Hmmm...this is my first time experience engine failure in Cathay.
Happen on Barbara and Captain Soo before when i was still Firefly.

On the 9th of April, I was on my way to Auckland.
During my rest period, the whole aircraft was vibrating.
The vibration was so bad, until i can't have my rest.
I thought it's just bad weather. Never cross my mind was an engine failure.

After i woke up from my rest, the crew told me there were no power supply in the aircraft.
We almost need to do our drinks service in the dark.
Just before we start our service, power went on again. Thank God!! =)

It was a slight delayed, but the flight went like normal until we landed safely in Auckland.
The moment we enter the crew bus, on our way to the hotel, all the crew started to ask what's happen just now?!
The second officer told us the whole story.

One of the engine failed half way down the road.
That's why the whole aircraft was vibrating.
Captain decided to turn off some of the power supply in the aircraft to save up some energy.
Thank God it was Airbus 340 with 4 engines.
The pilots estimated that we still can reach Auckland with 3 engines.
Just that it will be slower than usual.

After confirming that there was not engine fire. No smoke, no fire.
Captain decided to turn back on the failed engine.
Thank God, it's works!!

Actually, i have no idea how stressful those pilots were.
I was just happily carried out my usual service.
I was just speechless when i heard the whole story after we landed.
How can i be so ignorance when i was on the flight!?
I don't even feel the danger.




Yesterday another Cathay aircraft from Surabaya had engine failure and landed emergency in the airport.
Oh my goodness!! I can't imagine that.
I think most probably my hand will be still shaking if i were operated that flight.
Gosh!

Rich Medan 'Tai Tai'

Today i did a flight back from Penang to HK. The flight is simply SPEECHLESS!!
There were this group of 'Tai Tai' from Medan traveled with us.
Seated at my zone!! baguslah~~!!!

Their hair is FUYOO!!! Well set one u know...
I think even Typhoon number 8 also will not mess up their hair! =P
It was an early morning flight, I also have no idea what time they started to set their hair.

They were wearing expensive jewelry and handbags.
But... their behaviour is simply CHEAP and KIASU!!
They want EVERYTHING from the aircraft.
Not that i don't want to give, but i really don't have things to give mar.

The whole aircraft only have limit sets of playing card.
They already took ALL.
They even gamble in the aircraft. Real gamble with money all out. Adui!!

During meal collection, i was so shock!
They just gave me back almost empty tray. o_O
They kept all the cups and plates. Gosh!
Reason given, they would like to keep it as SOUVENIR!
Well, I have no choice but to forced them to take it out.

That actually didn't stop them. One of the 'Tai Tai' came to my galley and asked for the SOUVENIR. What the...???
Of cause, i rejected her la... And i asked her whether she will like to have a CATHAY PACIFIC ball pen.
For all you know, she said: 'Har?! Only 1 pen?? Can u give me MORE souvenir ar?!'
I wanted to ask her to take back the passenger SEATS if she can remove it from the aircraft!! Ahhrrr!!

Eh, hello, Aunty ar, do u know that your ticket didn't includes SOUVENIR?!
Plus, nowadays my company is SO POOR, they cut all our allowances.
You think they have money to give you all souvenir meh!?

Sometimes i think if those Aunty happen to be someone i know, what should i do?
If happen to be my parent, should i educate them??
But after all, they are your parent. How can we teach them back, right?

Hardworking month

Haven been working so hard since ages. This month i really work hard.
I swap in as many flight as possible.
Off days to flights, short turn around flight to long turn around flight.
My roster is like 'newspaper'. =P

Actually, it's kinda good to be productive thou.
Rather than, have too much time at home doing nothing.
Maybe also because last month i gave away too many flights for off days for many activities.
Don't get me wrong. Those activities i really think is worth for me to gave up my flights. Like the lovely wedding of Eu Wing & Win Nee in Penang and Life game in Kuantan. Was all great!!

I'm started saving money now. Stop buying stuff when i'm in outport.
Maybe it's kinda late to start saving compare some of my classmate.
Well, it's never too late i guess.
Hmmm... I think i never been so serious on my finance before. Good good.

Wow...it's getting late. Tomorrow it's gonna be a long day for me.
Going to Osaka, Japan, overnight. Coming back on the following day.
Arriving Osaka around 9pm++. Leaving early on the next morning.
Nothing much i can do. Good la, save money. =)

The Big Tree

Mum happen to brought a tour to HK. Oh ya, by the way, for those who don't know, my mum no longer running her restaurant T&L. She sold the business off, and she is part time tour leader now. Tour leader is different than tour guide. She just need to bring those people who join the tour from Kuantan to wherever, and pass it to the local tour guide. Sounded pretty easy, isn't it?! That is NOT true at all.

If not because i were there to witness the whole scenario, i won't believe how tough the job is. My goodness!!! It is a 40 people tour. Age range from 35's to 65's. Each age range have their own interest, the best part is...they don't seems to compromise each other.
Those who are younger, they want to go EVERYWHERE! Those who are more senior, they just want to go back hotel and rest. Gosh! So, mum have to do double work lo... Have to send those back to hotel and go out with the younger group.

If u think they will appreciate my mother hard work, then you are SO WRONG! They never appreciate my mother hard work. They just have the mentality that they PAID for the tour, they shall be the KING.

Haih...for all you know, they only paid RM1599 for 6 days trip, Macau-Shenzhen-HK. Includes air fare, accommodation, transport and meals. If they think they are paying ALOT, i really don't know what to say. Come on, for such a low tour fees, of cause not includes EVERYTHING right!? So, some of the extra tourist spot like Wax Museum, of cause need to top up la... Then they started to complain. -___-!!!

I never see my mother being so patient before. Even how messy the whole situation was, my mother never even show face. Not even a hint. She just keep quiet, keep smiling. Can u believe they took 1 hour to check-in in the airport?! A special counter only check-in for their 40 people group, also took them 1 hour!!
The check-in ground staff already went crazy, but my mother still stayed calm.

*a round of applause for my mother* *clap clap clap*

My mother is like a Big tree in my family, Me and my brothers are the flower and small tree besides it. Besides getting their nutrition from big tree, when it's getting too sunny, the big tree will be blocking the sun for them. Prevent them from being 'hangus'.
When there are thunder storm, the big tree will protect them from flying off. At the end of day, the big tree is having all the hurts and pain from the strong sun and thunder storm.

This is the Big Tree in my family, my beloved mother. I love you.

De Lovely

I watched this movie in the hotel room. It's a biographical stage musical, composer Cole Porter reviews his life and career with his wife, Linda.

At first i was attracted by the musical background of the scenes. The 60's background and custome were also catches my eye. All the ladies were wearing red lipstick, curly perm hair, big hat, hand gloves and dress. Their accessories never fail to be pearls or diamonds. Very gorgeous!






After the movie, the only thing that stayed in my head was...
Gorgeos main actress?! NO!
Grand musical scenes?! NO!
Luxury custome?! NO!

The only thing that stayed in my head was the scene where the main actress died on her bed. She wasn't wearing any jewelry, either any nice custome. It's just her and her husband. In my head i was thinking. If she can trade all her jewelry with a longer time with her husband, i think she will definitely do so.

When life come to the end, you think any of those things matters anymore?! Some people used all their life to go after wealth, brands, luxury, jewelry, etc...
But at the end of the day, you can bring nothing with you to heaven.
Compare with a 'sucessful' life, i think i will prefer to have a meaningful life!

Little Angel, Macy

'People always blame God is not with them, but i believe if you have faith, He is always there leading you slowly, step by step... You will fall cause of the rocky road but He will make some light on your path to let you see clearer... He is just there.. Watching...'

I heard this from a friend of mine, Macy. When i heard this, it's touched my heart.

Whenever i'm having rocky road, God seems to be so far away. This is not because God had gone so far, it's because i lost my faith.

Today is one the day that i felt lonely and empty. I guess this is the side effect by sitting alone in the hotel room, still wearing pyjamas in the afternoon and not having proper meal.

It's a short stay for me in Dubai for this trip, so i decided not to go out. Just to rest in the room. Well, i guess it's a mistake to do so. At least i should go to the gym. Exercise might help. But i forgot my sport shoe *sigh*.

Well, this is how it happen. Ever since i woke up this morning, i felt like something is missing, but i don't know what is that!? I guess this is call emptiness. This is come with my job i guess, loneliness and emptiness.

God is still good! Whenever i encounter all these feeling. He will confort me in many ways. Like this time i have little angel, Macy, to comfort me. =)

Confirmation

Everyone is dying for confirmation. That's including me! Hate the feeling of being uncertain.

This happen to me. Ever since i started working in HK. I always ask God for direction. Whether to stay in HK or go back to Malaysia.
If to go back, how long more to stay here? What to do if i go back?
If stay in HK, is this the right job? Is this the original plan in my life? Is this something God you want me to do?

Many many question marks...
I always want to have confirmation from God. Is it Righteousness or Selfishness?!
Confirmation is for God or for myself?
I always LEAVE everything to God. Looks like a righteous act, but indeed, it's a selfish act.
Sometimes, i just refuse to make decision because i afraid of making wrong decision.

Thank God for His mercy. I went to Hillchurch in Sydney last weekend. Pastor talked about confirmation. Wow!! God is good!

We always want confirmation out of sense of security. For all you know, God already had His confirmation to us long long time ago. Which is the covenant with Him. As the children of God. Aren't we have the BEST confirmation already?!

We always tend to focus on our circumstances and individual problem. What we need to do is just as simple as FOLLOW WHAT HE ASK US TO DO!

Whether to stay or to leave, i will just follow. I believe it must be a reason for me to be here. =)

空中小姐

行李很多 這客人又過火
投訴這飛機餐未會醫肚餓
仲有十幾位小朋友亂攪一通 快好坐

從上機開始笑容就要多
還要check清楚制服叫好叫座
願這位先生安睡再別密密call
願這位小姐不要亂叫
不需我再為妳降火

投訴太多　懂得禮貌卻不多
空姐似傭人似個奴隸過　真不錯

雲兒空中多又多
窗口位人人都想霸來坐
餐飲要頻頻送上卻剩了很多
怎麼偏偏不覺不妥

長途飛機很累麼
mask拯救憔悴的臉龐
情緒好比螞蟻亂跳走過
可笑我還要裝作　全程來慶賀
你卻視這夢想國　想清楚

全程投入　要事事服從
難道就沒有開心
其實亦未至於這麼黑暗

沿途亦有風景吸引　面貌逐次更新
仍令我心興奮

雲兒空中多又多
窗口位人人都想霸來坐
餐飲要頻頻送上卻剩了很多
怎麼偏偏不覺不妥

長途飛機很累麼
mask拯救憔悴的臉龐
情緒好比螞蟻亂跳走過
可笑我還要裝作　全程來慶賀
你卻視這夢想國　想清楚　想清楚
do you want a fly

When i first heard about this song, i was laughing out loud. It's so true! It is not so glamour after all. =P

Honeymoon flight

That day i just did a honeymoon fight. I just flew to Bali, too bad it's just a turn around flight. Didn't get the chance to visit Bali yet. Anyway, why i called it Honeymoon flight?! Because the whole flight is full with young couples.
Most of them are just married. How i know?!
Because many of them were wearing T-shirt which printed 'JUST MARRIED'.
So cute, right?

This is my first time doing Bali flight. It's really a vacation + honeymoon flight. I can feel their joy even as an outsider. Personally i think Bali is quite a good choice for Honeymoon. It's a simple and beautiful place. Last time i used to think honeymoon trip must go to European country like Paris or Vienna. Must have this Europe 9 days tour thingy. Hehehe.. Not anymore.

I heard this from a pastor, honeymoon is different than vacation. The purpose of honeymoon is to enjoy each other to the MAX!! Not to enjoy the sightseeing. That one can save it for vacation. Because when you are too busy with all the itinerary, how are you going to enjoy each other?!

Few weeks ago, i did a flight to Bahrain, Saudi Arabia. It was quite a sad flight, i must say. Not because it's a tough flight, or with some problematic passengers. In fact, most of the passengers that we carried on that flight are really good people.

The reason why i said it's sad, because it's a 'BACK TO WORK' flight. Most of them are workers from Philippines, China and Indonesia. They left their family few thousand miles away to earn their living. They did not talk much, through their eye i can see they must be missing their family alot. Hmmm....compare to Bali flight, the surrounding is totally different.

When i have a chance, i would love to pay a visit to Bali also. Maybe it's just not the time yet. Never mind, Bali will not run away =P

my new year resolution lesson 1

peanuts rice

steam fish with taufu

Fried 'bo' vege

'lou sui' chicken wing

If 2 months ago, u ask me to cook. My answer will be NO NO NO! Let's go out and eat! =P
Last time i used to think it's ok to don't know how to cook, as long as u find a boyfriend who can cook. hahahaha! Actually i was kind of 'proud' for not be able to cook. Very wayward ya.

It's not be able to cook, or not willing to learn?! I think i'm the second one. I don't want to learn how to cook, so that i can be taking care of. The feeling of being 'feed' is good. Well, it's time to grow up, Elaine!

Almost at the end of 2009, i had this resolution. I want to learn cooking. Learn from the very basic. Cook rice, fried vege. Simple dinner. Those usual meal that every family have.

Initially i was thinking to join cooking class. But the timing is bad, i can't make it for class every week. Thank God for Ivy Jie, an aunty in my church. When i approach her, she straight say YES. somemore FOC! Cool ya!

It was fun learning from Ivy Jie. She brought me to wet market, teach me how to choose fish, teach me how to identify vege. So many to learn. I should have learn it from mummy way before, when i was at home. Hmmm...never too late, i believe. =)

Pray that i will have the determination to continue. =)

I hope one day I will still see you in heaven

Out of the blue i found a name card, Disneyland entrance ticket and a Paul Smith perfume testing card in the hidden pocket of my purse. I don't even remember i actually kept all these things in my purse. It's reminded me about him.

I asked myself if i happen to bump into him, what will be my reaction?! What should i say to him?!
While thinking about this, a phase came across my mind. I will tell him,
"I HOPE I WILL STILL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN."

I know it might not be the best thing i should say to him. You must be thinking i'm actually cursing him, right?! No, i'm not. I say it like i mean it. I really hope i can still see him in heaven.

I used to angry at him. Bible says we must forgive and forget. Sometimes, i really think God have a sense of humor. He wants us not only forgive and forget, but also bless our enemy. I find it even hard to forgive, how to even bless?

We human being find it hard to forgive, because we are not willing to surrender to God. We want to be the judge. Like me, deep inside of me, without i realise, i actually have all these scary thought. I want to see what comes around goes around, i want to see him eat back his own shit.

God reminded me about the reason i called the relationship off.
I remember clearly what God told me that time,
"THIS MAN CAN LOSE YOU, BUT HE CANNOT LOSE ME." How much this man need God.

That time, i really want him to get closer to God, experience Jesus more. That's why i choose to take one step backward. Even though along the way, he hurt me alot with his lies and betrayed. But, it shouldn't change the original purpose.

How many times i have broken God's heart?! Still He forgive me if only i ask. Who i am today is all because of the mercy of God, not because of my hard work. I didn't earn my blessing, it's all because the grace of God.

I will surrender all to Jesus. He will be the judge. No matter what is going to happen to him, good or bad. I will still pray that he won't lose Jesus. I will still see him in heaven.

new year in Saudi Arabia

First morning in 2010

I have a friend who love to see sunset. But, not me. I prefer sunrise. Sunrise represent the beginning a day. Full of hope and excitement. I would like to start my day with a nice cup of coffee. Hmmmm....

2010, new beginning. When i looked back 2009. What a crazy year for me. So many experiences. I thank God for every single one of them.

Even there are hurts, but without those hurts, i will not be who i am today. Without those failures, i will never let go my ego and pride. Without those disappointment, i will never find back my first love to God. Without those empty promises, i will not put my hope on God again. Without those fake security, i will not be so secure in the arm of Jesus. It's all happen to be GOOD!

There are people came in and left my life. Thanks for leaving a foot prints in my life. Thanks for growing up with me.

To my beloved family and friends, u know who you are =)
Thank you for bearing with me. Thank you for all the tears and laughter.
I love you all.